19th Birthday Celebration

Hello !

Hello people, finally I'm back to blog again ! After exactly a year. Hee.

Fyi, it's never an easy task to conduct a blog.
The hardest part of all is you must always squeeze some time to keep writing no matter how occupied you are.
Apparently I'm a lousy blogger who had abandoned my blog for a few times.
I miss blogging very very much in this entire year and this is why I'm here now. With a brand new blog skin edited by myself.
I personally love this blog skin very much, it's my favorite sky blue ! what do you think bout it ? =)
So, let's stop with the i'm-back-crap and talk about my last teenage birthday !

19th December 2010. It was my 19th birthday and that was also my last birthday to celebrate as a teenager. Unlike any previous years, I didn't look forward to my birthday at all. This was all because of my super evil test STPM ended at 16th Dec, and we were planning a trip to Melacca on 21st. So I was like, important days on December? yeah, 16th and 21st. I totally forget bout my birthday. Haha.

I used to celebrate my birthday every year with my family. This was our tradition, and I'm not gonna change it. So though there are some circumstances, I still managed to had a SMALL celebration with my dearest mum. Hee.

Small cake is needed for a small celebration. *Oreo Cheese Cake*


Mummy ♥

Siblings ♥

Things then happened that I supposed to have a date with my dearest friends at 3pm. I didn't know where they were going to bring me or what planned they had. So I just waited, waited for them to pick me. What pissed me off was, they only picked me up at 7 ! I was thinking, if you guys can only go out at night, then should just tell me earlier wad. But I just waited 4 hours for them ! So when they picked me up, I was not in a really good mood. They then drove me to PCB. Wanted to had Belut as dinner.

Me and the super huge coconut. According to them, the birthday girl deserved the largest one. Haha. Anyway, I'm here asking everyone not to go for Belut at PCB next time ! We waited for 3 and a half hours there ! Everyone gone so emo and our conversation had turned to become kept complaining bout the restaurant.



When we were as hungry as a werewolf, someone suggested that maybe we should just ate the cake first while waiting for the super long dinner. See their hands? everyone tried so hard to protect the cake, so that I can blown them quickly and everyone can at least feed their stomach first.

Happy Birthday to me ! =)

After the dinner, it was already 11pm, so we didn't even have to thnk bout what's the next station. On the way they sent me home, they just showed me my birthday present, and now I know why they let me waited for 4 hours. It was a magic box sewed by them. The most valuable thing was, it was completely DIY. and I must say, the 4 hours was completely worth to wait ! I shall revealed what was inside that later. =)

They know how much I love the smiley face. =)

Side.

See how much I love this present? Haha.

Deng Deng Deng Deng. A box full with candies. I guess they just wanted me to grow fatter. Lol.
Thanks everyone who contributed for this. =)

By the time I back to home, I just realized there was another present awaited for me.
It was from Pei Qi ! She's so sweet that she asked her boyfriend purposely sent me a piece of secret recipe cake ! I ate the cake before I remember to take a photo of it. Haha. What a terrible blogger.

In short, this may not be the happiest birthday I ever had.
But from this birthday, I learned that, birthday may not be happy, birthday may not meant for celebration. Despite of that, spending some quality time with your loves one meant everything.
I know I'm still the blissful girl who pampered by everyone. But this time, I shall be matured and show some love towards the people I cared.
And now I understand, birthday was actually meant for growth, not physically, but mentally.

Happy Birthday Tan Yibi. =)

舍与得

An essay I wrote on the school essay writing competition, and gladly to tell that I was the 2nd runner up for the competition. =)
I was then asked to type the essay and hand to teacher. For what? well, I don't know too. Lol.
And since lamanya didn't update my blog, then just paste it here lar. Haha.
Oh yea, honestly, this essay was not really nice instead, since I didn't write a chinese essay, for about two years? Enjoy your reading though. =)

<舍与得>

台下的闪光相机不停为我闪烁，此起彼落的掌声也为我鼓舞着，人们欢呼的喧闹声也为我振奋着。这一刻，是我人生最光辉灿烂的时刻，这舞台也在这一秒彻底地被我 征服了，而我依旧是众人瞩目的焦点，光芒凝聚的地方。然而，因哽咽而无法表达得致谢词，却如此真实的映出了心坎那深不可测的孤寂。湿热了的轮廓另泪水更迅 速地滴了下来。那是一滴有故事的泪水，那是一滴能在我心底留下轨迹的泪水，那是一滴坚强却又悲哀的泪水，而那更像是一滴装满了无尽遗憾的泪水……

那年，我九岁，一个正值天真无邪的岁月，可惜我背负的不是美丽可爱的书包，却是如万斤重的家庭负担。这使我比同龄的孩子更要明白人世间那尔虞我诈的生存本 能，也明白了所谓玩乐与童真，说穿了只不过是可笑的奢侈。妈妈是个陪酒女郎的事实，令我饱受村民们无知的冷嘲热讽，然而这并无法让我屈服，却让我明白要站 得比别人高，飞得比别人远，必须用无尽的泪水与汗水换来的，只因为我不甘于平凡，不甘隐没在人群中。父亲的早逝使得我和妈妈相依为命，家里只靠妈妈再夜点 上班微薄的薪水支撑着。

那年，邻处搬来了一间舞蹈学院，那是我第一次接触芭蕾，第一次随着音乐舞动着身子，却令我无可救药的爱上了这美丽的舞蹈。可惜，我总是只有挨着窗户偷学的份 儿。玻璃窗内映出的舞蹈画面，是我的挚爱，我总是在窗边笨拙的扭动着身子，路人投来诧异的眼光也好，发出讽刺的嘲笑声也罢，也浇不息我对舞蹈满腔的热情， 却从未想过自己有朝一日能够跳出一支完整的舞蹈，那年，我九岁。

那年，我十一岁，妈妈无意间发现了我热爱芭蕾的事实，而她也毅然决定把我送到那间舞蹈学院。芭蕾不菲的学费并非一般家庭所能负担得起，更何况是我的单亲家 庭，然而妈妈却无惧辛劳，兼了几份职，只为一圆我小小的梦想，那时我窥见她的瞳孔深处凝聚的尽是坚持及对子女满满的爱。于是，我以高龄的身份堂堂正正的走 入了学院里，浑然不知这决定竟会改变我一生的命运。因为起步得比别人迟，所以我奋斗着，因为对舞蹈的热情，所以我努力着，因为不能让妈妈失望，所以我付出 着。那年，我十一岁。

那年，我十八岁，也终于修完了所有舞蹈课程，以辉煌的成绩毕了业，而妈妈却因多年的劳碌，熬出病来，无情的岁月在她身上悄悄地留下来痕迹。或许是时候让她好 好休息了吧，我想，而此时，我的舞蹈老师却建议我远赴美国往舞蹈界继续深造。这是一个相当难得的机会，尤其是对如此热爱舞蹈的我来说。然而妈妈已到了退休 年龄，我又怎能够抛下她独自一人远赴他乡呢？于是我踌躇着，盘旋在梦想与亲情之间，但进退之间总该做个抉择。终于，我整理了无法带走的浓浓亲情，令它留在 乡下，孤身一人往我的梦想之旅迈进了一大步，而同时也把亲情浇熄了一半。我离开了这个陪伴我多年的城市，离开了这个遍满了我的足迹的地方，也离开了我唯一 的亲人，那年，我十八岁。

那年，我二十二岁，唯美的舞姿洒脱的在舞台上挥舞着，使我在美国闯出了名堂。我被挑选进入了世间最闻名的舞团，也即将随着他们展开世界巡回的舞蹈演出，那是 我毕生的梦想，也是每个芭蕾舞者奋斗半世追逐的荣誉。正当我开始为即将要一帆风顺的人生感到欣慰时，我竟然获知妈妈染上癌症，不久于人世的消息。这突如其 来的厄讯敲碎了我蓬勃的野心，更逼我再一次陷入了亲情与梦想的抉择。就完成这个巡回演出吧，我对自己说。我总不忍眼睁睁的放弃只剩一步之差就能完成的梦 想。终究我还是做了个自私的选择。那一夜，我站上了只属于我的舞台，随着音乐舞动着我那虚伪的梦想，尽情的享受着人们对我的赞美。同一夜，一个劳碌了半辈 子的老妇人，对孩子付出了无穷的爱的妈妈，为孩子的梦想而奋不顾身的妈妈，缓缓的咽下了最后一口气。她成全了女儿毕生的梦想，却带着那无法完成的小小心愿 与世长辞了。那年，我二十二岁。

那年，我二十六岁，国内宣昭我回国，颁发“十大杰出青年奖”给我，认可了我多年以来努力的成就。失去妈妈的那夜，我却因精湛的舞技而一夜成名。这也许是妈妈对我最后的爱吧！热烈的掌声把我从回忆里的漩涡拉回现实。我抹干了泪水，开始讲了我的致谢词：

“我 总觉得可以为某样理想奋斗着，那，才叫人生。而这理想却是因人而异。那得视乎你把生命中的哪一样东西看得最重。对我而言，舞蹈是我的全部，于是我努力着， 奋斗着，付出着，希望得到大家的认可。奈何也许老天总想和你开个玩笑，老是要你在人生中最重要的时刻遇见了截然不同的选择题，是取或是舍，你得自己决定， 并要你为你的抉择付出了绝对的后果。曾经，我有两次选择的机会，而我在踌躇间选择了我的梦想。于是，今天我成功了。只可惜，我现在才明白了“舍与得” 的 道理，只因为不忍舍弃我的梦想，所以我失去了比梦想更重要更重要的亲情。当我赢得了所有荣誉时，同时我却失去了我人生最重要的部分。我的灵魂仿佛被剥走了 一大部分。那感觉，是空虚的，很深很深的空虚。如果再给我一次机会，那我宁愿只当个平凡女孩也要照顾你终老，如果再给我一次机会，我会舍弃那些没有了亲情 就什么也不是的梦想，如果再给我一次机会，我会奋不顾身去保护人世间那份最重要的感情，维护那份最真的感动，如果，再给我一次机会……”

E-M-O

If you scroll down now, I bet you will blame me for not keeping my promise.
Yes, I did said that the upcoming post is about my christmas celebration 2009. And I know I am far fall behind again now, I still haven't write my new year resolution lui ! Alamak. Seems too late d now. No doubt I'm in a writing mood now, I feel like writing, after glanced through everyone's blog, but not about the fun I had. In fact, I am a little bit E-M-O today. *Stop laughing, duhh*

Today was not my day. And I was like dreaming all day, even when I was driving. Mama almost shouted her lungs out when she was sitting beside me. Well, Thanks god I still managed to have my writing here.

I am really determine this time, really really determine, super duper determine, determine x100000000 times. But if you ask me, what I am determine with? Study is on the first place of course. What's next? Maybe to get slimmer. Everyone asked me to diet after they saw my latest student photo. Awww. I just had a strong feeling that, this time I will make things goes right, I mean EVERYTHING and determination is the key I know. I hate that feeling, and I promised, I will never let it happen again. NEVER AGAIN. The thought do helped me sometimes, at least I will have semangat gao gao for a few days. Haha. Somehow, no excuses were allowed this time.

Oh yea, I registered for school chinese writing competition again. And, I'm volunteered. Lol. As I said, I am always in the writing mode. But for some reasons, I stopped writing more than one year. It's so miserable when I realized that I almost forgot what's the feeling to write a good sentences, since it's ages since I produced one. Nevertheless, I still kept updating my "sentimental" blog at friendster from time to time. I just can't abandon it. There were all my stories, tears and laughters of all these years. Even if this is my main blog now, but sometime, I will miss that though. *Told you I am emo today*


I guess I should stop writing now. Or else I really can't imagine what will come out next.
p/s: I know this post is a bit awkward, out of theme, what else? funny maybe. Haha. I know emo is really not my type. So it's time to back to normal. Hahaha. =)

I'm not going to be affected this time. Yes, I mean it.

All In one- December

December always been my favorite month of all time.
Not only because of holiday, but also christmas eve and new year eve.
But all of all, the main reason why I love December is because it's my big month. =)
Nevertheless, my last December was a bit boring though.
U know my holiday schedule was just sleep-eat-online-drama and repeated all over again.
Until my mum suddenly suggested that maybe we should leave this dead town for few days, or else I might really bored till death.
So, here we go, to Terengganu for paying my cousin a visit and down to Kuantan for shopping. =)


17th & 18th December 2009

On the way to Kuantan. I couldn't recall what name was the beach. But somehow, this kind of beach was so common at Terengganu. I thought Terengganu was actually far fall behind than Kelantan. But in fact, even the road and building were even far more prettier than Kelantan. Not to mention their beach and food. Awww. Maybe it's time for the Kelantan goverment to pull up their socks. Hmm.


Don't you ever dream to see such christmas decoration at Kelantan the Islamic City. That's why even might be laughed by others, we still decided to snap this shot at Kuantan's mall. I couldn't remember the name actually. Heh. And I was really really upset that I didn't bought anything at there, not even one ! while my family member all bought till hundred hundred sound. *jealous* lol.

Meet my cute cousins from Terengganu. They are really adorable. ^^

19th December 2009

Tik Tok Tik Tok. I was in car when I was finally become 18. Going back to Terengganu from Kuantan. While my phone started to ring, but it's quite awkward to talk on the phone with my family members all around me. When the time was near, they suddenly counted down, and sang birthday song for me in the car sharp on 12am. Okay, the only word to describe my feeling at the moment was *warm*. I just felt warm all around my heart. But I bet the friend on the phone must be shocked. Haha. By the way, I supposed to have my first birthday celebration on 13rd with Yeewen and Peiqi at Melacca. Too bad my plan called off at the last minute. Kinda sad. So, both of you still owe me a meal ! Don't forget. Haha.

Had my first birthday celebration early in the morning at my cousin's house. My this very first cake of birthday was baked by my aunt. Thank you. ^^

Visited the Crystal mosque and did some shopping after that. Went back to KB after having our lunch. To be honest, I spent half of my birthday in the car. And I'm kind of disappointed, yet at the same time, I felt blissful to spent some quality time with my family, especially when my birthday. They meant everything for me. ^^

Reached Kb bout 7.45pm. And I went out immediately to meet Xinjie, Chengwei, Hauheong and Jacky to have my second birthday celebration. They were so sweet that they celebrated for me every year since f3 i guess.


It was almost 10pm when we finished our dinner. I kept complaining that they didn't bought a birthday cake for me. ( Yes, I know I shouldn't complain anymore) Haha. Thus, they rushed to the 3/4- closed Muhibah to buy one for me. We went to airport after that, u know it's hard to find a good venue at Kb, especially at night. And what surprised me was, the cake they bought know how to sing birthday song ! Haha. Actually that was a birthday music player candle lar I guess. Too bad the wind was too strong that night, so we couldn't light on the candle, and no birthday wishes was made. But still, I am really happy with that. *smile*


Forced them to be my model to take some photo, and seems like they really have the potential to become model too. Haha. If you all are reading this, I sincerely want to thank you all, for being such a great friend. =)

22nd December 2009

I was asked to join them doing bugs project at Jiajia house by that day. After finished part of the job, we planned to have tea at somewhere else. However, we met xinjie and also sinpin outside jiajia house. I still didn't feel suspicious at all, indeed, i invited them to join us for tea.

While waiting for sinpin and xinjie to return motor to Jacky ( They said so lar ) , we went to Muhibah at Parkson and had some photo shot there. By the way, I really love this shot by Chua Jia Jia. =D

When I was about to lose my chor dai di, suddenly I heard birthday song again. When I turned over my head, OMG, I saw a group of people holding the cake and singing for me. =) and I was still like, what happen now? Lol. And actually, It was a surprise birthday party for me. ^^
Those people include Ziekie, Jiajia, Yeeying, LynJane, Reejane, Xinjie and his girlfriend, Hauheong, Sinpin, Xinsheng, Jaushiarn and even Ruren.

Here is the present made by Jia and Qi. I don't know I should laugh or be mad. How could they let Jacky hold me?! Hahaha. Well, maybe this explain what comes around goes around. I promise, I will never bully Jacky anymore. So no next time please. T.T

Went to oriental seaside after that. But seems like that's nothing so special about there. So we changed our venue to Golden Bean again.


We had a great night there. Playing killer and snap. Millions thanks again for my birthday celebration. May our friendship last forever and ever and ever and bla bla bla. =) Oh yea, fyi, I had my 17th birthday celebration at Golden Bean too. And Ong yee wen said that she will rent the whole Golden Bean for my 21st birthday party. Well, I will remind her by that time. =P

Last but not least, here's the present I received for year 2009.
Finally, I am officially 18 now, and I can enter cinema without any worries. Haha. Hopefully I can act like how a 18 girl should act and stop being wildful all the time. I know whenever I turned older, there are a lot of responsibilities for me to carry. And now, I am now well-prepared to enter the another pathway of life.
Tan Yibi, you're eighteen now !
So no more excuses, and chase for what you want!
You can do it for sure.
=)

p/s: Upcoming post - Christmas Celebration